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Making Time for Making Love

By on December 13, 2013

After a long day of taking care of three little boys, cooking, cleaning, and juggling work responsibilities, it was my time to rest. I ignored the subtle flirtations of my husband, Mike, hoping he would get the hint that I was not in the mood. I had reached the finish line.

As we were getting ready for bed, I changed into my PJs and he caught a glimpse of flesh. He looked at me amorously as if the act of changing my clothes was an invitation. I faced a fork in the road: Would I “do my wifely duty,” or tell Mike what I was really thinking? I responded with a compromise: “We can do it as long as I don’t have to be awake.”

If this only happened once in a blue moon, our marriage could weather the storm. However, scenes like this were regular occurrences during our busy years of babies and toddlers. I began to dread sex. Although I loved my husband, I resented that he wanted my body and was encroaching on my rare moments of free time. I remembered hearing that sex was supposed to be a gift from God to a married couple. Frankly, I wanted a gift receipt so I could exchange it for something more useful.

Many young moms can relate to this scenario, as the number one barrier to sexual enjoyment for women is a lack of time and energy. Men often don’t understand the mammoth endeavour it can be to switch from mummy mode to lover— who has time for sex when a screaming child is in the next room and dirty dishes are piled in the sink?

Why you can’t put sex on the back burner

Study after study shows that sexual satisfaction and a healthy marriage go together. From a woman’s perspective, we think, “Of course! If the marriage is good, the sex will be too.” Men have a different approach: “How could marriage be good without great sex?” According to recent research, the guys actually have a point.

Oxytocin is the powerful bonding hormone that flows through your body in mass quantities when you have a baby. Oxytocin helps you to feel connected to your baby so you can endure the crazy years of toddlerhood. The power of oxytocin makes your baby the most beautiful creature in the world to you. Women have varying levels of oxytocin running through their bodies at any given time. You may get a surge of it when you have an intimate conversation with a friend or when your husband gives you a backrub.

Men are less endowed in the oxytocin department. Your husband will only have huge surges of the hormone at one time—after orgasm. Have you ever noticed that he acts more in love with you after sex? He thinks you are gorgeous with your hair sticking up and your morning breath. That’s oxytocin!

 

Original post by Today’s Christian Woman

 

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